Waiting in Tokyo: Reflections on Life, Aging, and the Human Mind

Recently, I was waiting for friends at a busy Tokyo train station. I arrived early; they were 40 minutes late. Resigned to my fate, I found a comfortable place to stand. Observing hundreds of busy people,  I wondered what their lives were like. Different ages, heights, weights, social status; some limping, some in wheelchairs, some blind, some disheveled or destitute. I was curious as to how they were surviving.

Intriguing watching senior citizens smiling, bowing, greeting each other, as young adults vigorously hurried by, oblivious to the cheerful seniors. On the American East Coast, the seniors are called “snowbirds” since they have grey hair and vacation in Florida during the winter. Although I could be their age, I looked 20 years younger: I was fooling everybody, but myself. It was futile to deny that I was a Traditionalist (1928-1945) the time before Baby Boomers were born (1946-1964): but I have a lot in common with the snowbirds. I was a product of the vacuum tube generation, kids had crystal radio sets, read Dick Tracy comic books. I watched television from a TV set enclosed in a wooden box with three broadcasting stations, with programming ending at midnight; only a test pattern was displayed.

Society never stops advancing. As Dr. Wayne Dyer said: “Some people suffer from the ‘Mores,’ or they keep wanting … more, more, more.” I reached a point that I am not swayed by the bombardment of social media with its fads and controversies. It becomes a challenge to decipher what is real versus illusion: stimulus overload! The world is at our fingertips with humanity on full display with all its pimples and dimples. What people observe can be disturbing and have a negative influence on our brain, mental life and the choices we make.

For me, life is more basic. My foundation in life expanded after I joined the Marine Corps. After 16 weeks of basic training and turning my chubby body into a man mountain dean of physical strength, I was ready to meet the world. The Corps values assured that I could take responsibility for complex decisions. I had the moral strength to face fear and uncertainty. Integrity, responsibility, keeping your word, doing what’s right under pressure, continuous self-improvement, perseverance, discipline, honor, courage, and commitment, shaped my outlook on life. The only thing missing was my white horse.

Looking at my watch, then the flowing masses, I was observing for hidden patterns of human suffering. To understand life and a person, requires both brain and soul, combined, they’re the foundation of personality, consciousness, and meaning. The brain is not simply a biological organ, it’s the living foundation of personality, emotion, memory, meaning, and relationship. Yet does a person ever fully understand oneself or another person? With so many life distractions is it possible to find solitude long enough to self-examine our consciousness, our personality and the meaning of our own life?

After 15 minutes, the two snowbirds now numbered six, all the women were cheerful and attired appropriately for an afternoon tea. But beneath the smiles of their aged and wrinkled faces were barriers that hid childhood adversities that they endured during World War II. After all, they were Traditionalists. Did they suffer from chronic trauma due to the repeated devastation of war exposure? Trauma changes the brain, but the brain can change, again. Trauma is not defined only by the event itself, but by how the nervous system encodes and responds to it. But here they were: survivors. This means the snowbirds had a disciplined attention to survive while maintaining meaningful relationships which helped reshape their brain.

As the group ambled away, I felt lonely. Looking at my watch, I still had a twenty-minute wait. Many of my peers and friends have passed away. Then I reflected on my Corps values. Stay fit, exercise, get quality sleep, have a balanced nutrition, don’t gain weight, stay fit to fight and combat ready, manage stress and have meaningful engagements in life. In today’s vernacular this is called brain health. The brain thrives on rhythm, order, and purpose. The brain is the seat of the self. Or as my drill instructor used to call it “Brain Housing Group.” “Get you brain housing group out of your Axx!”

Personality is not a fixed destiny. Where we start in life, is not where we end. The brain is the biological foundation of thought, relationship, creativity and transcendence. When I was little, my neural system had a lot of imagination and self-awareness. Back in the day, social distractions did not exist. Information came from newspapers and the radio. But who had time to read? For some people finding their path in life can be difficult. Yet only you can chart your path, don’t be a boat without a rudder. Your brain is your rudder. Where do you want to go? As my father said: “The three keys to success are: “work, work, work.” He was a product of The Great Generation 1901-1927, where a strong sense of duty, sacrifice and civic responsibility, resilience and discipline existed. But there’s no turning back the clock. Beam me up, Scottie!

About the Author:

Hilary Valdez is a freelancer living in Tokyo, Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at his website or email (InstantInsights@hotmail.com). Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.

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