Doing Nothing: Finding Meaning, Purpose, and Peace in Life
“The problem with doing nothing is not knowing when you’re finished.” - Benjamin Franklin
After being down sized, I did nothing. Waiting to enter graduate school, I did nothing. After my divorce, I did nothing. After another down-sizing, I did nothing. While searching for the meaning of life, I did nothing. The upper crust female whom I dated dumped me, calling me cheap. I said I wasn’t cheap; “I was broke!” Hence, more alone time, doing nothing. When my mother asked me, “What are you going to do?” I said, nothing.
When we flounder our way through life’s challenges, I guess we all go through periods of “nothingness.” At times life can be confusing, especially during periods of transition. Sure, solitude can create a quiet space for self-examination. But at the same time, be careful not to give yourself bad information. Be careful with your self-talk. Then again when I noticed this quiet guy just sitting alone, I question: is he processing emotions, memories, or trying to answer personal questions?
All humans need meaning and purpose. Do you have to be a billionaire? Some people are content to lead a quiet life without the stress associated with the competition goals on the corporate or social ladder. Like the guy sitting alone, slumped on the bench: is he experiencing emptiness or apathy because he can’t find meaning or purpose in his daily life? Or maybe it’s something simple as: what should I watch on Netflix? Hard to say, unless the guy jumps up and starts screaming at his imaginary voices. Then we have a problem, Houston. The key point is accepting yourself in the moment; whatever the moment is. It’s easier than berating yourself or negatively judging yourself. When I was in high school and was fired from a pizza restaurant, I was sad and told my father. He looked at me saying: “So what. Get another job. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Keep moving.”
Looking at it now during that moment of nothingness it’s easy to measure your self-worth through achievement then feel guilty when work suddenly stops. America is an achievement and goal-oriented culture. We’re taught to strive. But our value is not dependent on continual accomplishment. I don’t want to keep up with the Joneses.
Abraham Maslow’s theory of human motivation proposes that people have needs ranging from basic security and belonging to esteem and self-actualization. In terms of doing nothing, Maslow believes growth is not always expressed through visible achievement. Reflection, contemplation, and freedom from immediate demands can help people clarify their values and develop a deeper understanding of themselves.
Suddenly that quiet guy sitting on the bench jumped up, startling people who were passing and shouted: “I’m free!” “I don’t have to take it anymore!” “I retired!” People were scared and jumped back. But for this guy, his life has been organized around possessions, achievement, status with prolonged stress on his body. Suddenly deciding to do nothing, he realizes the gift of being alive. Doing nothing does not mean there is a psychological problem. Is doing nothing hurting or helping you? Doing nothing depends on your life circumstances, and a person’s emotional experience. Can you enjoy quiet time, peacefully? Do you have to accomplish something every day to feel good about yourself? Doing nothing is a form of balance. People need time when they are not on “stage” meeting the expectations of others. Being free means the freedom to choose when to act and when to rest and understanding that your worth as a human does not depend on how much your accomplish in one day.
It’s all about balance. When does solitude become wisdom, and when does it become isolation? “Am I choosing this quiet moment because it enriches my life, or am I avoiding a life I’m afraid to live?” The question brings together freedom, responsibility, contentment and the search for meaning. For the man on the bench, quietly sitting on his first day of retirement, he is content in that he has fulfilled many obligations and is now enjoying simple pleasures for time and reflection. He had been examining his values, beliefs, desires without distraction when suddenly an outraged, frazzled Karen yells at him “He’s talking to his voices!” “Someone call the police before he harms the kids!” “Don’t sit here!” “Get a job!” She yells, as people are busily recording on their phones. The man on the bench looks at her calmly. “I am what I do,” he exclaims gently. “You need a second opinion!” She screams. “You’re a weirdo!” “Somebody call a mental hospital!”
“Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.” - Kin Hubbard
About the Author:
Hilary Valdez is a freelancer living in Tokyo, Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at his website or email (InstantInsights@hotmail.com). Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.
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