The Impact of Single Parenting on Children’s Mental Health and Family Life
- Hilary Valdez
- Oct 2
- 3 min read
An important factor for mental health in children is the parent-child relationship. However, significant changes have occurred in children’s family life. Since the 1960s, there has been an increase of American households led by single parents. According to the 2023 census, the percentage of children living in single-parent households nearly tripled between 1960 and 2023, increasing from 9% to 25%.
As a single father with three teenagers, finances were my most significant challenge. Without the support of a partner, I was under pressure to make ends meet which created on-going stress and anxiety. Managing a career, handling multiple household tasks and taking care of my children’s needs was overpowering at times. I had no time for self-care or leisure activities. Work-life balance was difficult to achieve.
As a single parent, I often experienced feelings of loneliness, guilt and stress navigating numerous responsibilities without spousal support. I struggled with self-doubt, wondering if I was doing enough for my children and questioning my parenting abilities. At night, alone in my room, I struggled with the emotional aftermath of divorce, my anger and uncertain future, which intensified my stress of single parenting. It was impossible to participate in social events and maintain friendships. It became problematic to prioritize my own needs and well-being.
For me being a single parent was not only about raising children; it was about building a life of strength, love and meaning together. I loved being a father, the role was tough, but clear cut. I volunteered for this duty. Raising kids in a single-parent household, a family can still be whole, thriving, and deeply blessed. My parenting practices, especially the establishment of firm rules and parental control, were crucial to the development of socially competent and mentally healthy children. The responsibility of teaching life skills and coping mechanisms was my obligation.
Completing school, finding a job, and starting a family are events that mark the transition from adolescence to adulthood. For many children, raised by one parent, this transition is not an easy one. Some stop school prematurely because they feel hopeless about the future or because other activities seem more important at the time. Single Parenting and Children’s Mental Health
Some young girls become mothers while they are still children, and in doing so, put themselves at risk for long-term poverty and dependence. Many young people have trouble finding steady employment. Some are idle for several years after leaving school, others work intermittently.
Parental-youth relationship and teenage mental health was important to me. I wanted my kids to be resilient and have a solid psychological blueprint and a firm grounding in self-confidence with a positive self-image and a strong emotional foundation.
Being a single parent was one of the most challenging, yet profoundly meaningful roles I could undertake. It was a journey marked by resilience, sacrifice, and determination. But at its core, single parenting is about love: love that is strong enough to stretch across the challenges of providing, nurturing, and guiding a child, even without the support of a partner.
Single parenting came with struggles, but it also created unique opportunities for deep and meaningful relationships with my children. Our bonds formed lasting positive memories. Simple moments; a family meal or a long walk together, became treasures. There was a richness in love, time, and shared experiences.
I tried to role model courage, even though I cried a few times in despair. I attempted to teach perseverance, adaptability and love. Children who grow up in single-parent households often learn early on the meaning of sacrifice, the power of determination and to face challenges with dignity and grace. At the same time, I learned from my children. Their laughter, growth, and milestones provided motivation for me to keep going. Our relationship became mutually strengthening as I attempted to inspire my children through love and effort, while they inspired me through hope and joy.
Love can overcome limitations. About the Author:
Hilary Valdez is a freelancer living in Tokyo, Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at his website or email (InstantInsights@hotmail.com). Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.
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